Fear is one of the biggest reasons for people not achieving the things they want to and fear can present itself in so many different forms: a fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of getting hurt, fear of being alone, fear of poverty, fear of not being good enough…
It’s understandable that fear stops us doing things. I mean that’s why it exists. Without fear, we would likely get killed. It is there to keep us safe. As society has evolved and social pressures have increased, our fears have changed too. It’s no longer a fear of getting attacked by a wild animal, it’s the fear of being excluded from a social circle. It’s the fear of losing a job because that’s what brings us money and puts food on the table.
The biggest problem is when fear stops us from reaching our full potential and achieving our dreams. That kind of fear is usually the fear of failure or not being good enough. If you imagine growing up wanting to be a famous singer but as you get older, you see how many people want to be a singer and don’t succeed. You fear that you will become just a statistic. Or you see how many talented singers are out there and fear that you aren’t good enough to stand out. Maybe you fear the judgment of your peers. What if they say you’re rubbish? What if they laugh at you? What if nobody cares? This is where feeling the fear comes into it.
It’s ok to feel afraid, but it’s important to recognise where that fear comes from. If you are passionate about something but fear is stopping you, that stops today. Let’s visit the worst case together (and ideally write down the answers to these questions somewhere so that when you’re super successful, you can see what was holding you back).
What is the biggest thing you’re afraid of happening if you pursue your dream?
What would be the consequence of the worst-case scenario?
What’s the most likely thing to happen if you pursue your dream?
How would you feel if you gave up on your dream?
What can you do to prepare or mitigate that worst-case scenario?
Often when we face the worst-case situation in our head, we live through it. Our brains can’t tell the difference between an imagined situation or a real-life one (hence anxiety is such a difficult thing to overcome). Once you face that situation, you are likely to see that you’ll be able to get through it, even if it isn’t that easy. At least we are then prepared for it. The other thing is, we bring an element of grounding to it as we see that the worst-case scenario isn’t necessarily the most likely one to happen.
By facing our fears, and allowing ourselves to go through it, we become braver; we come into ourselves. If we give up every time we get scared, our world becomes smaller and smaller and we end up just in survival mode every day. That’s not what life's about for the majority of us. We all have a purpose and things we are meant to achieve. Fear is a challenge we have to overcome in order to get there and thankfully it’s a mental barrier. That means there is a good chance we can break through it.
Do you regularly avoid certain situations because of fear?
Yes
No
Sometimes
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