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Not In Love - Book Review

Ali Hazelwood’s latest STEM novel, Not In Love, is a slightly spicer version of her usual romance stories, but also a little heavier too with the character’s having past trauma. Below is my Goodreads review, but let’s get in to one of the main themes… being open to love.


Test tubes, glass beakers and pipette on a white table

The main character, Rue, fulfills her needs through meeting men on an app. She doesn’t let any romantic interests into her life, and keeps everyone shut out after suffering in her past. She stays guarded, even after meeting Eli, who she has an undeniable connection with.


It got me thinking about how difficult it is as an adult to be truly open to love. We all want love, in fact, most of us crave it. How many of us grew up watching Disney movies where the happily ever after involves finding your one true love?


Now with social media, we are constantly being shown pictures of people’s perfect lives, and how blissfully in love they are. We don’t see the bad side; which is fair enough as some things should stay private. However, it can leave us feeling like something is lacking in our own lives. This doesn’t even account for those of us who have suffered heartbreak whether in the form of a bad relationship or losing a loved one.


Past traumas can make it so incredibly difficult to open yourself up to others, because of the risk of getting hurt again. Opening up an old wound as it were. That’s alright for the short term because realistically, we can’t develop a healthy relationship with others, if we don’t have one with ourselves. We have to heal, before we can let others in.


When meeting people that you would like to connect with romantically, means being able to be your true self; not the guarded version. We’d like to believe that someone can see beneath the surface and just know who we really are, but sadly, that’s seldom the case. What you put out into the world, you are likely to receive.


In the book, Not In Love, Rue only truly heals once she is betrayed. The worst possible thing happens and she survives it. She puts her trust in a close-knit circle to avoid getting hurt but gets hurt anyway. She risks pushing away any positive new opportunities, because of the fear of getting hurt, but because it happens anyway, she is presented with an opportunity to rectify the situation before it’s too late.


That’s another point to consider. The things that we run or hide from in life, usually come around to us in one form or another. It’s our challenge to find a way through it rather than avoid it.


The thing with romance stories, is that it feels unrealistic at times, but actually, I believe they are based on a lot of reality. To be able to put certain emotions and experiences into words that other people strongly connect with, usually indicates that the author has experience with those emotions and experiences. To describe love accurately, means that you know what it is like to be in love.


It’s an enjoyable read, even if there are some areas that feel somewhat lacking. The main themes of this book can highlight what it means to heal from past trauma, and how you can move forward. To be honest, I read it in a day, so it’s worth reading if you enjoy the romance genre. Not only will it leave you feeling happier, but it can also leave you with a slightly new perspective.



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